Nothing to Remember
by 55yunalovstidus5545
Summary: After an accident that she remembers nothing about, Ziva remembers everyone except Gibbs. But when someone shows up from Ziva's past and threatens her and her friends, she must put all her trust in Gibbs, even though she doesn't remember him at all. TIVA!
1. Chapter 1

Nothing to Remember

Voices. That was the first thing she heard when she started to regain consciousness. Angry voices, as if two people were in a heated argument. Over what, she didn't know. And a second later, she didn't care. Cause then it hit her.

Pain. Sharp, ebbing pain that never seemed to go away and she felt that this time, it never would. Her head, that was where the source of the pain was. Waves of agony hit her, over and over, like she was standing in the ocean and waves of icy, cold water kept hitting her. She clenched her teeth against it, trying (but failing) to ignore it.

She looked around her then, trying to figure out where she was, taking in all the possible escape routes she could use if need be: door on her left, window on her right, and a window in front of her. _Hm,_ she thought, _one good kick and I would be abl-_

She stilled at the silence that had suddenly choked the air. Her eyes flicked to the door, wondering why the voices had suddenly... stopped. She focused her attention on the door, her eyes taking in every single detail and outline of it, her ears tuned to capture the sound of any footsteps or noise that someone made.

She expected them to come barreling through the door, but all she head was a quiet rap on the door.

Frowning, she cried out hoarsely, "Come in."

She tensed, waiting for something to happen, wanting something to happen; for them to come barreling through the door with guns and knives.

What she did not expect was for them to open the door slowly so one of them could pop their head inside.

Her entire body seemed to react differently, intently aware of the face that stared at her: her heart began to beat faster, her fingers itched to reach out and touch him, and heat began to pool in her lower belly. But it was her brain that made the connection, fitting the last piece into the puzzle and the man's name whispered in her mind.

"...Tony..." she whispered, yearning to reach out and hug him to her.

Even though he was clear across the room, she still was able to see the relief that washed over him, the flame of anger that had once burned in his eyes all but distinguished. And it was replaced by something she couldn't put a name to.

Tony smiled at her, but before she could smile back, he had pulled his head back outside. She froze, fearing that he was going to leave her in this place, alone. But before she could put more thought into it, the door was pushed open wide, letting in the blinding light from the hallway.

She blinked several times, waiting for the black spots to fade from her vision. When she was finally able to see again, there was another man in the room, making it a threesome rather than a twosome.

She looked at the, wondering who he was. The light from the hallway fell on one side of his face, showing off white-gray hair, steely, blue eyes, and a face that showed no expression whatsoever. She waited for her brain to click, to somehow fit him into the puzzle that was her memory. But unlike with Tony, this piece didn't fit.

She looked over at Tony, a question in her eyes. His face fell a little when he took in her expression. She reached over to pick up his hand from where he had let it fall on her bed, fearing that she had done something wrong.

She met his eyes once more and gave him a small smile. He smiled back but it didn't reach his eyes. His eyes flicked back to where the man stood across from her, then flicked back to hers. He scooted closer, holding her hand more tightly. "Ziva," he asked quietly, "do you know who this man is?"

She looked once more at the man across from her, studying him thoughtfully until she was sure she could create a sculpture of him. She glanced back at Tony and shook her head. She watched his head fall into his hands, watched as he stayed like that, not moving, and wondered what was wrong.

It was several minutes before Tony lifted his head to look at her. "...Ziva..." he started, "This is Gibbs... He's our boss."


	2. Chapter 2

Nothing to Remember

The metal doors closed around her, inclosing her in silence. She leaned her head back against the wall, closed her eyes and tried to remember everything that had happened in the past week.

_"Ziva," Tony started, "Do you know who this man is?"_

_She looked once more at the man who stood in front of her, studying him thoughtfully. She glanced back at Tony and shook her head. She watched his head fall back into his hands, watched as he stayed like that, not moving, and she wondered what was wrong._

_"…Ziva…," he said, "This is Gibbs… He's… our boss."_

Ziva sighed, letting her eyes flutter open and stared at the grey, metal doors before her. Even now, the same shock washed over her at his words. After he had spoken, she had whirled back to look at their "boss."

She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate… Still nothing. Not-a-thing. Zip-zap-zero. For some reason she couldn't remember him. **At all**. Nothing to remember. Nothing at al-

She flinched at the ding of elevator, announcing their arrival, and immediately walked up to the cold grey doors. As soon as they started to open, she squeezed through and froze.

Ziva stayed there, waiting for the flash-flood of memories to subside" the first time she walked through these doors, every time after that, and all the times she had left through them. All those memories but still, none of them included Gibbs. It was as if she was always taking orders from an invisible man.

A voice interrupted her thoughts, bringing her crashing back down to earth. Before she could recall whose voice it was, someone crashed into her, giving her a spine-breaking hug. That immediately brought even more memories back to her mind.

Ziva laughed and hugged her best friend back. "Abby… Abby… I can not breathe, Abby!"

Abby pulled back, laughing as she did before she gave Ziva a questioning look. "So you remember me, Ziva?"

Ziva returned the look, why her friend was asking such a strange question. "Why would I not, Abby? And anyways, how would I be able to forget you? It is… you!"

Her friend laughed and slipped her arm through Ziva's, starting to pull her towards the bullpen. Ziva let her, since she was once again bombarded by memories.

Once they were in the bullpen, Abby pulled her friend to a halt. When Ziva just stood there, Abby looked over at her, fearing that her friend didn't remember this place. What she saw on her bffs face made her smile.

Ziva's lips were slightly parted, her face expressionless, her eyes vacant. Abby wanted to jump up and down with joy, for she knew through experience that her friend was having flashbacks.

Memories were flying past her minds eye at speeds that would make even the world's No. 1 daredevil sick to their stomach. When she thought she wouldn't be able to handle it any longer, a hand waving in front of her face broke her from her trance.

She immediately focused on the hand's owner, taking in the man's features before she gave him a smile. "McGee!" she exclaimed before pulling the elf lord into a hug.

McGee was so startled at this that he didn't respond for a couple of seconds. By the time his brain finally got the message, Ziva had already let him go and was talking to Ducky._ At least she remembers me,_ he thought.

"Hello, Ducky," Ziva remarked, giving the doctor a squeeze.

"Hello, my dear," Ducky replied after squeezing her back, "I see that you still remember me."

Ziva pulled away and gave him a weird look, wondering why everyone was her that. "Of course I do. Why would I not?"

Ducky opened his mouth to answer but before he could, Ziva was whirled around and crushed against someone. She opened her eyes, breathed in the man's heady scent and smiled into his shoulder. _Tony,_ she thought as she hugged him back, wrapping her arms around his waist. She buried her face into his shoulder.

She felt him pull back a little and she turned her face up to his. His hands came up to cradle her face and he pulled it closer to his, his moss green eyes boring into her chocolate brown ones. He said quietly but forcefully, "Don't you ever… ever, do something like that again! You almost gave a heart attack, I was so worried." He gave her a soft kiss, then pulled away.

She smiled up at him, then turned around to look at everyone, asking at the same time, "Why does everyone keep asking me if I remember them or not?"

When she turned all the way around, she found the others gone, leaving only her and Tony in the bullpen. She felt a hand slip into hers and she looked at him. "Why is everyone avoiding the question?"

He sighed and started to tug her towards his desk. He sat down in his chair and held out his arms to her, wanting her to sit on his lap. She folded her arms across her chest and leaned against his desk, close to him.

Tony lowered his arms and stared at her for couple a minutes. "…Ziva…" he said, then stopped.

Ziva looked over at him, confusion etched on her face. She took his hand before asking, "What is it, Tony?"

He stared down at their hands, then took a deep breath and looked up at her. "Ziva…. You've been in a comma for two weeks…"


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey u guys! I'm sorry it took forever to update!! School and everything!!!!!**

Nothing to Remember Ch. 3

_"You were in a comma for two weeks…"_

Ziva's eyes widened in shock but she didn't freak out like Tony would have expected other her girls to react to that sort of news.

Ziva nodded. "Ok… Why though?"

Tony looked down, not meeting her eyes. "You… were in an accident…" He looked up at her, wanting to see her reaction.

She stared at the wall, not really seeing it. She could feel his eyes on her and she turned to meet them. "What…. Happened?"

"We were hoping you would be able to tell us, Ziva," a voice said from behind her.

She turned and came face to face with her boss. She shook her head. "I can not. I do not remember any of it."

Gibbs nodded. "And even though you don't remember me, I am still your boss and you are still part of this team."

Ziva nodded curtly. "Yes, Gibbs."

He searched her face before nodding. He walked out of the bullpen and started towards the stairs, saying over his shoulder, "Tony, try and help her remember."

Tony looked at him. "And… how am I supposed to do that?"

"Anyway you can, Dinozzo!"

"Right," he said under his breath. He looked over at Ziva, finally noticing that she wasn't there. He heard the ding of the elevator and he jumped out of his seat and ran towards the elevator.

He turned the corner just as the elevator doors closed. Cursing, he slammed his fist into the wall, and walked back towards the bullpen. **An hour,** he thought, **I'll give her an hour.**

Ziva walked into her apartment, telling herself that this was what she needed; peace and quiet. She didn't need someone to hold her and tell her that everything was going to was going to be all right. Tell her that she was going to remember everything.

She unlocked her door and walked into her bedroom, dropping her backpack in the doorway and threw herself on her bed. Usually, to think, she would clean her gun, but she didn't too, to afraid it would make her remember even more memories.

She had laid there for 20 minutes, telling herself that she didn't need someone to help her remember her own past, that she didn't need people looking after her, that she didn't need to know that someone was looking out for her, in case something went wrong. She told herself that this was for the best, that she was alone.

**What about Tony**, a part of her screamed,** he'll always be there.**_** Will he,**_ the other part asked.

Ziva sighed and pushed herself up into a sitting position. She stared at the wall in front of her, not really seeing it, not really seeing anything. She racked her brain, searching for something, anything, rather than the answer she was getting back: NO. She looked and looked and looked and looked but she couldn't find anything, as if there was…

"Nothing," Ziva whispered to the air, "As if there was nothing. Nothing to remember."

A wave of horror and dread washed through her, making her start to tremble uncontrollable. She sat there, shivering, trying to think of an explanation to why she couldn't remember.

A knock at the door broke her thought, making her jump. She got up and went to open the door, not bothering to look through the peephole.

Standing in the doorway was a stranger that she didn't know but he knew her, for he smiled and said, "Shalom, Ziva."

"Shalom," she heard herself say, wondering why she had answered. She stood there uncertainly for a minute, and then everything fell into place. Well…. not everything.

Gibbs walked down the stairs from M-TAC, having just heard bad news. He looked down at the bullpen and immediately noticed that Ziva wasn't there and Tony was asleep at his desk. He sighed and continued down the stairs.

He walked into the bullpen and said loudly, "Dinozzo!"

Tony's head jerked up from his desk and he shouted, "On your six, boss!"

Gibbs sighed again. "I'm not going anywhere, Dinozzo! But you are."

Tony blinked and mumbled, "Where?"

Gibbs turned and looked at him. "Michael Rivkins back in town," he said softly. Tony was already running for the elevator before Gibbs finished his sentence.


	4. Chapter 4

Nothing to Remember Ch. 4

"_Michael Rivkin's back in town."_

Tony sprinted up the last couple of steps that led to Ziva's apartment and banged on the door, trying to catch his breath. By the time she opened the door, he still hadn't caught his breath and he was bent over with his hands on his knees.

"You are out of shape, Tony."

He looked over at her, noting the smile on her face that didn't meet her eyes and how pale she looked. He pushed himself up and made his way into the apartment. He went through every room before going back to the living room, where she sat waiting on the sofa, the fake smile gone from her face.

"What is wrong, Tony?"

Tony walked over to the sofa and sat down next to her, turning his head slightly to look at her better. He sat quietly, staring at the floor, trying to think of how to say what needed to be said.

Ziva put her hand on his arm, worried. "Tony…" she said, waiting till he meet her gaze, "what is wrong?"

She looked away at the ground next to her shoe. She whispered, "I know…" She let her hand slip from his arm. Before it could land on the sofa, he caught and laced his fingers with hers. He brought their adjoined hands to his lips and held them there until she meet his gaze.

The flame that was his anger burned anew at the tears in her eyes. Ziva never cried. **Never. **His hand slipped from hers as he reached over and lifted Ziva onto his lap, one arm under her knees and the other at her back. He started to rock her back and forth gently as she rested her head against his shoulder, trying to keep herself in check.

After several minutes, he asked quietly, "Did he come here?"

His words brought back the scene between her and Micheal to the front of her mind, playing over and over.

**Standing in the doorway was a stranger. He smiled when he saw her and said, "Shalom, Ziva."**

** "Shalom," she heard herself say, and wondered why she answered him. She stood there, wondering if she should invite him in, when it came rushing back to her. She felt her face drain of color and her eyes widened slightly. **

** No. It wasn't possible…. He was supposed to be dead…**

** He smiled as he watched her face. "May I come in?" Micheal asked.**

** She slammed the door in his face as her response. She heard him chuckle on the other side of the door and she put her back against the door and slide down until she was sitting on the floor.**

Ziva shut her eyes against the rest of scene, not wanting to see the rest.

"Did he come her, Zee?" Tony asked again.

Tony felt her nod against his shoulder, and he instinctively felt his arms tighten around her, pulling her closer to him. She but her hand against his chest, right over his heart, knowing this would calm him.

It wasn't.

A wave of fear washed over her, even as she felt her heart inflate at his sweetness. Micheal hadn't done anything to her, had not done anything but scare the shit out of her and here was Tony ready to go smash Micheal's face in.

Immediately, her Mossaid training forced those feelings away. She could still feel their presence in her, just not as much as before but her heart was still overjoyed.

Ziva pulled back slightly to see his face. Tony was staring at the wall in front of them and she could tell that by the flame in his eye and the look on face that he was trying (and failing) to control his anger.

_My hero,_ she thought.

She kissed his neck and started to trail kisses along his jaw, then pressed her lips to his. He didn't respond at first, but after she tilted her head slightly to take the kiss deeper and let her tongue slip into between his lips and nudged them open when he started to kiss her back.

When he did, she pulled back a little and, fascinated, watched as his eyes flutter open. Her breath caught.

His eyes had turned a sparkling jade, going from moss to emerald. Instead of the flame of anger that she had seen seconds ago, she now only saw the flame of his desire. She smiled to herself and dove her hand into his hair and brought his lips back to hers.

~_~_~_~ NCIS_~_~_~_~

Some time later, Tony asked quietly, "Do you wanna talk about what happened?"

They were lying on the floor, he on his back, and Ziva was curled up against his side. He had one arm around her, holding her tightly to him.

He felt her stiffen against his side and he immediately cursed himself for asking the question but he knew it had to be asked. She started to pull away but he held her to him turning to lie on his side so he could see her face.

"Tony," she started, "Let m--."

He cut her off by capturing her lips with his. He smiled when he heard her moan. He urged her mouth open and let his tongue rasp against hers.

After a few minutes, he pulled pack and rested his forehead against hers, both of them breathing heavily. He looked her in the eye as he said solemnly, "You don't have to tell me, sweetchecks. It's ok."

Ziva's felt her heart melt in her chest and she reached up to cup his check. She didn't say anything, simply thumbed his cheek while she stared at him, as if she could she see his heart, soul and mind.

As Tony looked into her eyes, he was once again awed by the color of them: auburn brown. He heard her clear her throat and he focused his attention back on her.

Ziva leaned forward and lightly pressed her lips to his before pulling back. She said softly, "I WILL tell you, Tony. Just… not now. Right now, I just need you to hold me…"

He smiled that crooked smile that she loved and said just as softly, "I think I could do that."

**Hey guys sorry it took so long to update. I'm gonna take a break on this story but I promise that I will return to finish it keep an eye out for my next one!! It's a songfic!!**

**FIN**


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